Denial or Hope

Mock comp yesterday wasn't good. Shall not talk too much about it.

School hasn't been very good. Shall not talk too much about it too.

Seems like there is nothing much to talk about.

Lots of late nights. Rushing. Hoping to meet the dateline. Hoping to get it done.

The past few weeks have been rather eventful. Alot of incidents. Nice ones that kept me going. Not so nice ones that made me ponder if.......

Denial or Hope. I choose Hope

ps. Planet is human

Mike and Ike

Friday was spent having lunch at TM. Wanted to eat pastamania but ended up in the food court =). Took the train down to school, looked at some specs. Nice. Don't worry. Then it was off to the gym once again. Din really climbed much thou cos i din want to get all sweaty and stuff. Set some routes. But the trip to school was worthwhile.

Advanced to town. Walked around alone for a couple of hours. Looking for ideas and gifts. Overflowing ideas but zero decisions made. Finally reached NIKE. Nice stuff there. Met the LSM gangs and ate fish & co. Super not worth it since I ate fish & co in KL last december. (half price mind you). Had alot of lame forfeits. Including wearing shades and asking the waitress for a refill of passion fruit.
Rushed down to TM (after pangsehing LSM gang) to catch RED HILL with yx, matt and charl. Nice. but abit drama (as usual).

Saturday = Climbing day. Turned ou to be ERRAND running day too.

Productive climbs at Yishun. Finally a training that i feel pumped and stretched out. Shiok. Then lunch at foodcourt. =) Had a nice chat with Ely. Be nice. =) hahahaha.

Cab to Tg Rhu to collect 8kg worth of goods from US. One FCUK and one Northface top for me this time round. $27 worth of Cab fare to and fro = broke. Reached home, dumped the 8kg stuff and took bus31 to marine parade to deliver some food to my aunt. Wheee.............. and it was back to TM for dinner. bananas +chocolates +pasta + nice talk + TONNES of people. ok. i am exaggerating. Cooling walk and one stop bus ride back home. MJ session next with the usual. Net win = $-1. You see... I won $9. But i owe Yx $10 for RED HILL. hAHAHaha. ThaNKs....... fell asleep while watching FA CUP with laptop on my lap. Missed all the goals when I woke up la... What.............................

Sunday. Stayed home. Research on the net and youtube. Did random stuff. Trying to find things to do. But nothing. Like NOTHING. Wanted to run. Then it rained. Then lazy. Then nap. Then rnadom things again. haHAha. Then Reunion dinner. Quiet one this year w/o Marie. =( Oh well. Mum nagged for going out so often and not helping her with new year preparation. Like what.........=). oh well.....

I think I need to take more photos. To avoid all these chunks of words. And I think I need to blog more often. Again to avoid all these chunks of words. I think I need...

Picasa is quite useful.

Romancing the Brick Wall

Finally done (I think) with my shopping. Bought a pair of loafers and a bag. Thats it. I am not going to spend anymore. The rest shall be from US if my sis manage to find good deals.

How about sch? Ecology field trip 1 was kinda boring. Walked around campus. Identified plants that you would never have noticed. Probably the next few trips would be more interesting. Pharmacology is interesting as ever. Making sense of society is not too bad. Manged to catch up with friend who has toured almost the whole of Europe. Einstein is......confusing but fun as got two others to disturb and talk crap. All the lame jokes.

Neurology on the other hand... IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHZZZZ... should have taken physiology man. Shall stop being adventurous next time and not try modules that sound interesting.

How about climbing? What can I say?......I just hate to lose my temper and vent it on the wall. Ya... not sportsman like and all.... It is just wrong...... But I have no outlet to let my rants out. It is constantly building. The frustration. The disappointment. Its all building up. And so. Monday. Flared up and yup. Lost my cool. Hmm...Shouldn't have done it. Like how i asked everyone who messaged me that day... Why is it that the thing you love most, always hurt you badly? I need to regain my zen.

I know its just not my day. And i know no use gettin so frustrated. And I know no point feeling all down and sad. However, it is just hard. You know what I mean? There is so much expectation from myself. I just want myself to do so badly. I am able to advise people all the time when they are down, disappointed and stuff like that. But I don't seem to be able to apply these theories to myself. It's harder than I thought it would be. To those who have noticed, thanks for your concern.

Along the same line... INSPIRATION, FAITH and everything along that line. Regina introduced me to this book. THE LAST LECTURE -Prof Randy Pausch. What can I say? I was in awe when I first read the book. This man is strong. Not physically. But emotionally and mentally. The book is packed with inspirational qoutes which I shall name a few of them which I particularly like. 1. Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

2. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

3. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

Go ahead, read this book. I am sure you will find something unique for yourself.

This is a man who lived his last few months to the fullest with no regrets. What would you do if you are left with one month to live?




I would be lost.

Double McChicken

3rd Day of school.

10am Lessons everyday means

1. Wake up at 750am
2. Drag myself out of bed at 8am
3. Cold shower and breakfast at 810am
4. Leave house at 815am
5. Board the mrt at 825am
6. Reached sch at 935am
7. Print notes and attend lecture at 955am

Daily routine. Alritey. Boring modules do not help at all.

Neurobiology + Ecology + Human pharmacology + Einstein + Making sense of Society

So much for school. I have been climbing quite abit. Climbed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Going to climb on thursday and friday and saturday! Shiok. But my fingers are undergoing fatigue. =) Should be able to last.

Momentum is building and I am feeling my climbing sense. It is something so personal to me... and I really need to start building on my confidence once again. Taking it slow and steady is a good way for me to build my confidence (I finally realised). So I am starting to do easier routes. Then slower work towards harder ones.. I feel as though I just learnt how to climb once again.

Alot to look forward to. Lots of competition. But somehow I just don't feel the stress.

Alot of uncertainty in life nowadays. Just go to learn how to handle it. Hmm......

Powerless Needless beating.

And so I sort of recovered from my gastric flu. Just feeling fbloated whenver I eat something. So I haven been eating well.

Everything is going on well except for one thing. Climbing. I don't know why. Maybe I haven been climbing. Maybe I have deproved.

I guess its all a vicious cycle.

Drop in Strength and Endurance -----> Cannot finish route ------> Can finish route but unglam ------>Morale drop ------> Sian mood -----> Don't feel like climbing ------> Drop in Strength and Endurance.

And you see, I used to be able to finish routes. Flashed and stuff. But recently, I lack that ability. It is like Clarke Kent losing his body of steel when that lightning struck. Powerless.

This weak feeling is killing me. And the faint enthusiasm is not helping.

Now I look worn out and tired. Eye bags. Dark rings. Pimples. And school is starting. And training is starting. And competition are coming. And Planet is currently unavailable.

Till further notice.

Late night Craving

Smallville + Pineapple tarts (lots of them) @ 3am = 6times of vomiting.

Felt so sick in the morning. Puked and Puked like I never puke before. Must be the tarts.

Wanted to stay home to rest. But decided to go sch. Cos I need to get something done.

Was so lethagic during the cleanup. So guilty. Just lie around. Unable to do much. Cos I puked whatever I attempt to eat.

Slacker planet.

Now I am running a slight fever. Hopefully it will go down by tmr. Otherwise got to give it a miss. =(

Vintage night rides.

Dockers Bag -$90


Project Shop Sling Bag - $149.90

Moving on.... 2009 has been nice so far.

1st Jan

• 1st Run of the year. 8km 41mins.


• Ice cream chef. Tried Kaya ice cream! Wasn't that bad!

2nd Jan

• Met Mich for a short shopping trip. She wanted to get this organizer from MoleSkine (nv heard of it). But ended up seeing alot more options. =)


• Bought a Docker's short sleeve top which was slightly too big. Mum altered it for free.


• Decided on the pair of Chaco sandals I wanna get from US


• Saw this UBER nice Project shop bag that trashes Docker's bag FLAT like a prata in Simpang Bedok.


• Had lunch at Out of The Pan in Raffles City. I mentioned in my previous post that I would like to try different kinds of teas. Tried Earl Gray this time round. Hmm.... Not exactly my kind of tea. It was abit too flavoured and too strong for my liking. I prefer something more... bitter? plain? Earl Gray smells abit like aroma therapy oil.
  

3rd Jan

• Went Giant and Ikea with my mum to get some cushion for the Sofa. Finally ate the Ikea Ice cream that I have been craving for since exams.


• Mahjong session at Charl's place with Matt, Vince, Charl and Yixiang. No. 5 people can't play Mahjong. Yixiang was self entertaining with laptop and Matthew's PSP.


• Had quite abit of good luck that night.

Played till around 2am. Then we decided to go Bedok 85. But sadly, it was closed. So we headed to Kembangan instead for the Herbal Mian Xian. Nice......... The ride home was crazy too. Off the aircon, wind down the window and enjoy the cold wind at night. Not forgetting all the classic old songs.

School is reopening soon. Alot of people to meet. Alot of things to buy. Presents for birthdays.. Presents to reward myself. This.. and That..... Too little time for too many things. Just have to figure out a way to squeeze everything in before the term begins.

Bidding hasn't been very smooth sailing for me. Changed my mind a couple of times. Now I am having trouble finding people to do Einstein's wierdness with me. Hmm... Kinda lousy feeling to do project with people you don't know man. Crap. And this is the first time I am going to clash my lab with lectures. Oh man........Dilemma Dilemma.... But the good thing is... I have 2S/U in hand! =)

Will definitely be an exciting semester ahead. Just heard from Jensen about next sem's climbing programme. Mixed feelings. Somehow I just think I am not up to it. Ah CRap... COME ON! really need to push myself more sometimes....Hmm... it is just different these days...walking alone and pushing is quite hard. But I believe I can manage it. Hmm... And the best part is.... I pulled my tendon like a few weeks ago. Brilliant. =)