It's my fault

I am not proud of working with 50rats and having to kill at least 1 a day. Seriously

I am trying my best to be careful but somehow shit happens.

Today was the first day of 14 of chronic feeding. The very first session went wrong.

I was distracted and I accidentally caused the death of 1rat. Hmm... Somehow the rat choked on the liquid drug and yea....The rest is self explanatory. No need for details.

I am seriously traumatised by the whole damn incident. Imagine staring blankly at a dying animal. Hmm.... Bloody sinful... I didn't sign up for this.

The whole incident really dampens my confidence and morale for th whole project. Started off wel but somehow alot of mishaps along the way... Partially due to unforeseencircumstances... And also due to my negliance, short concentration span, carelessness. I need to wake up.

On one end, there is the ethical issue of working with rats. I feel sad and down whenever one dies. On the other hand, when each sample dies, I lose one valuable data source. It is really pressurizing. Got to be careful so as to not harm any animals by accidentally (which causes great guilt) and also got to be careful so that I do not shrink my sample size any smaller.

The whole incident is haunting me. Putting 16 live rats into one gas chamber at one go (as instructed) and having an animal suffocating due to your own negliance IS NOT EDUCATIONAL at all.

No wonder Matthew says that FYP are a waste of money.

And now I can truly understand why Chloe changed her diet preference.

This is a dark post.