Denial or Hope

Mock comp yesterday wasn't good. Shall not talk too much about it.

School hasn't been very good. Shall not talk too much about it too.

Seems like there is nothing much to talk about.

Lots of late nights. Rushing. Hoping to meet the dateline. Hoping to get it done.

The past few weeks have been rather eventful. Alot of incidents. Nice ones that kept me going. Not so nice ones that made me ponder if.......

Denial or Hope. I choose Hope

ps. Planet is human

Mike and Ike

Friday was spent having lunch at TM. Wanted to eat pastamania but ended up in the food court =). Took the train down to school, looked at some specs. Nice. Don't worry. Then it was off to the gym once again. Din really climbed much thou cos i din want to get all sweaty and stuff. Set some routes. But the trip to school was worthwhile.

Advanced to town. Walked around alone for a couple of hours. Looking for ideas and gifts. Overflowing ideas but zero decisions made. Finally reached NIKE. Nice stuff there. Met the LSM gangs and ate fish & co. Super not worth it since I ate fish & co in KL last december. (half price mind you). Had alot of lame forfeits. Including wearing shades and asking the waitress for a refill of passion fruit.
Rushed down to TM (after pangsehing LSM gang) to catch RED HILL with yx, matt and charl. Nice. but abit drama (as usual).

Saturday = Climbing day. Turned ou to be ERRAND running day too.

Productive climbs at Yishun. Finally a training that i feel pumped and stretched out. Shiok. Then lunch at foodcourt. =) Had a nice chat with Ely. Be nice. =) hahahaha.

Cab to Tg Rhu to collect 8kg worth of goods from US. One FCUK and one Northface top for me this time round. $27 worth of Cab fare to and fro = broke. Reached home, dumped the 8kg stuff and took bus31 to marine parade to deliver some food to my aunt. Wheee.............. and it was back to TM for dinner. bananas +chocolates +pasta + nice talk + TONNES of people. ok. i am exaggerating. Cooling walk and one stop bus ride back home. MJ session next with the usual. Net win = $-1. You see... I won $9. But i owe Yx $10 for RED HILL. hAHAHaha. ThaNKs....... fell asleep while watching FA CUP with laptop on my lap. Missed all the goals when I woke up la... What.............................

Sunday. Stayed home. Research on the net and youtube. Did random stuff. Trying to find things to do. But nothing. Like NOTHING. Wanted to run. Then it rained. Then lazy. Then nap. Then rnadom things again. haHAha. Then Reunion dinner. Quiet one this year w/o Marie. =( Oh well. Mum nagged for going out so often and not helping her with new year preparation. Like what.........=). oh well.....

I think I need to take more photos. To avoid all these chunks of words. And I think I need to blog more often. Again to avoid all these chunks of words. I think I need...

Picasa is quite useful.

Romancing the Brick Wall

Finally done (I think) with my shopping. Bought a pair of loafers and a bag. Thats it. I am not going to spend anymore. The rest shall be from US if my sis manage to find good deals.

How about sch? Ecology field trip 1 was kinda boring. Walked around campus. Identified plants that you would never have noticed. Probably the next few trips would be more interesting. Pharmacology is interesting as ever. Making sense of society is not too bad. Manged to catch up with friend who has toured almost the whole of Europe. Einstein is......confusing but fun as got two others to disturb and talk crap. All the lame jokes.

Neurology on the other hand... IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHZZZZ... should have taken physiology man. Shall stop being adventurous next time and not try modules that sound interesting.

How about climbing? What can I say?......I just hate to lose my temper and vent it on the wall. Ya... not sportsman like and all.... It is just wrong...... But I have no outlet to let my rants out. It is constantly building. The frustration. The disappointment. Its all building up. And so. Monday. Flared up and yup. Lost my cool. Hmm...Shouldn't have done it. Like how i asked everyone who messaged me that day... Why is it that the thing you love most, always hurt you badly? I need to regain my zen.

I know its just not my day. And i know no use gettin so frustrated. And I know no point feeling all down and sad. However, it is just hard. You know what I mean? There is so much expectation from myself. I just want myself to do so badly. I am able to advise people all the time when they are down, disappointed and stuff like that. But I don't seem to be able to apply these theories to myself. It's harder than I thought it would be. To those who have noticed, thanks for your concern.

Along the same line... INSPIRATION, FAITH and everything along that line. Regina introduced me to this book. THE LAST LECTURE -Prof Randy Pausch. What can I say? I was in awe when I first read the book. This man is strong. Not physically. But emotionally and mentally. The book is packed with inspirational qoutes which I shall name a few of them which I particularly like. 1. Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

2. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

3. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

Go ahead, read this book. I am sure you will find something unique for yourself.

This is a man who lived his last few months to the fullest with no regrets. What would you do if you are left with one month to live?




I would be lost.

Double McChicken

3rd Day of school.

10am Lessons everyday means

1. Wake up at 750am
2. Drag myself out of bed at 8am
3. Cold shower and breakfast at 810am
4. Leave house at 815am
5. Board the mrt at 825am
6. Reached sch at 935am
7. Print notes and attend lecture at 955am

Daily routine. Alritey. Boring modules do not help at all.

Neurobiology + Ecology + Human pharmacology + Einstein + Making sense of Society

So much for school. I have been climbing quite abit. Climbed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Going to climb on thursday and friday and saturday! Shiok. But my fingers are undergoing fatigue. =) Should be able to last.

Momentum is building and I am feeling my climbing sense. It is something so personal to me... and I really need to start building on my confidence once again. Taking it slow and steady is a good way for me to build my confidence (I finally realised). So I am starting to do easier routes. Then slower work towards harder ones.. I feel as though I just learnt how to climb once again.

Alot to look forward to. Lots of competition. But somehow I just don't feel the stress.

Alot of uncertainty in life nowadays. Just go to learn how to handle it. Hmm......

Powerless Needless beating.

And so I sort of recovered from my gastric flu. Just feeling fbloated whenver I eat something. So I haven been eating well.

Everything is going on well except for one thing. Climbing. I don't know why. Maybe I haven been climbing. Maybe I have deproved.

I guess its all a vicious cycle.

Drop in Strength and Endurance -----> Cannot finish route ------> Can finish route but unglam ------>Morale drop ------> Sian mood -----> Don't feel like climbing ------> Drop in Strength and Endurance.

And you see, I used to be able to finish routes. Flashed and stuff. But recently, I lack that ability. It is like Clarke Kent losing his body of steel when that lightning struck. Powerless.

This weak feeling is killing me. And the faint enthusiasm is not helping.

Now I look worn out and tired. Eye bags. Dark rings. Pimples. And school is starting. And training is starting. And competition are coming. And Planet is currently unavailable.

Till further notice.

Late night Craving

Smallville + Pineapple tarts (lots of them) @ 3am = 6times of vomiting.

Felt so sick in the morning. Puked and Puked like I never puke before. Must be the tarts.

Wanted to stay home to rest. But decided to go sch. Cos I need to get something done.

Was so lethagic during the cleanup. So guilty. Just lie around. Unable to do much. Cos I puked whatever I attempt to eat.

Slacker planet.

Now I am running a slight fever. Hopefully it will go down by tmr. Otherwise got to give it a miss. =(

Vintage night rides.

Dockers Bag -$90


Project Shop Sling Bag - $149.90

Moving on.... 2009 has been nice so far.

1st Jan

• 1st Run of the year. 8km 41mins.


• Ice cream chef. Tried Kaya ice cream! Wasn't that bad!

2nd Jan

• Met Mich for a short shopping trip. She wanted to get this organizer from MoleSkine (nv heard of it). But ended up seeing alot more options. =)


• Bought a Docker's short sleeve top which was slightly too big. Mum altered it for free.


• Decided on the pair of Chaco sandals I wanna get from US


• Saw this UBER nice Project shop bag that trashes Docker's bag FLAT like a prata in Simpang Bedok.


• Had lunch at Out of The Pan in Raffles City. I mentioned in my previous post that I would like to try different kinds of teas. Tried Earl Gray this time round. Hmm.... Not exactly my kind of tea. It was abit too flavoured and too strong for my liking. I prefer something more... bitter? plain? Earl Gray smells abit like aroma therapy oil.
  

3rd Jan

• Went Giant and Ikea with my mum to get some cushion for the Sofa. Finally ate the Ikea Ice cream that I have been craving for since exams.


• Mahjong session at Charl's place with Matt, Vince, Charl and Yixiang. No. 5 people can't play Mahjong. Yixiang was self entertaining with laptop and Matthew's PSP.


• Had quite abit of good luck that night.

Played till around 2am. Then we decided to go Bedok 85. But sadly, it was closed. So we headed to Kembangan instead for the Herbal Mian Xian. Nice......... The ride home was crazy too. Off the aircon, wind down the window and enjoy the cold wind at night. Not forgetting all the classic old songs.

School is reopening soon. Alot of people to meet. Alot of things to buy. Presents for birthdays.. Presents to reward myself. This.. and That..... Too little time for too many things. Just have to figure out a way to squeeze everything in before the term begins.

Bidding hasn't been very smooth sailing for me. Changed my mind a couple of times. Now I am having trouble finding people to do Einstein's wierdness with me. Hmm... Kinda lousy feeling to do project with people you don't know man. Crap. And this is the first time I am going to clash my lab with lectures. Oh man........Dilemma Dilemma.... But the good thing is... I have 2S/U in hand! =)

Will definitely be an exciting semester ahead. Just heard from Jensen about next sem's climbing programme. Mixed feelings. Somehow I just think I am not up to it. Ah CRap... COME ON! really need to push myself more sometimes....Hmm... it is just different these days...walking alone and pushing is quite hard. But I believe I can manage it. Hmm... And the best part is.... I pulled my tendon like a few weeks ago. Brilliant. =)

10.16pm on 31st

Just had steamboat.

Going for Countdown Firework soon.

2008 is over in 2hours time! Wooohooo!!!

31st December gives me a weird feeling! It has been a rollercoaster year for me. Glad that it ended well. =) Team year end trip and Standard Chartered Marathon completed the year for me.

No resolutions this year. Just like every other year.

Just grateful that I have my close friends by my side, supporting me all these while. Thanks Jackie.

Thanks to the team for being there all the time. Team feels just like my second family man.. =)

Hope to spark my climbing once again in this coming new year!~ Got to stay focus. On everything that I want. =)

To everyone whom I know, may you have a Fantastic and smooth sailing 2009. =)

Spree Frenzy

Ok. So I went City to walk walk look see look see.

I have this fetish for shirts these days man..... Especially those fitting kind. Goes well with jeans as well as pants. Smart casual kind of look.

Went River Island. Tried a shirt. Nice brown shirt with several pockets... Very nice

Went Domanchi. Tried another shirt. Nice white collar reddish pink shirt. Very nice

Went G2000. Tried yet another shirt. Nice Mandarin collar shirt. Very nice....

Went Dockers. And still... i tried another shirt. Checkered short sleeves shirt. Casual. Very nice too!

Oh MAn... And I have eyes for them all..... help... aAww.

And to top it off... I went TM before going home after walking around city. And I met this nice DOCKERS sling bag.... It is something different from what I usually carry. Erm... less sporty. Wanderer duffel kind of bag.....

$90. Thank you. I am so going to reward myself....

I am currently looking for non shirt top, berms and a pair of nice casual shoes... and OPINIONS.

Dilemma and broke (soon to be)

Tea, Coffee and Popeye's

Have been catching up with the boys and the girls. Finally... after so much and so long...

We (most of us) caught Ip Man. Gentle yet forceful.

We (most of us) had late night HTHT at Mac Cafe at Downtown East.

Trying out different kinds of tea these days. I like it when I am served with a small pot of hot water + the tea bag. In that way, I can enjoy slowly without the problem of my tea getting cold too quickly.

Moving on.....

We (most of us) played MJ. Haven played since long long time ago.

We (most of us) went East Coast Park to relac one corner. Old Town didn't have nice tea. So I chose Kopi-o instead.

Then we had random photo taking sessions along the beach. I kind of like these 3 photos.....

We (most of us) went to the airport to send Clara off. Have a safe trip my friend.

Highlights of airport.

1. Saw this group of FUBER GAYs......

2. Mich getting her results. Good job girl

3. 2piece chicken at Popeye's. Did I mention 2.30am? WTH.

4. Vincent on the scale.

Next post. I will talk about my shopping frenzy. TOTALLY.... oh man..............

oh... It is "WE (MOST OF US)" cos Mr Chan De Hunk is always missing. =) Hope you did well.

All I want for Christmas...

Christmas this year is strange. Strange but nice and not too bad. You know what I mean?

Had a gathering at Charl's place. Great food and great company. I liked my attire that day. hAha. Nice to see everyone neat and tidy after the trip. And we missed the countdown by 30secs.

After the party, Santa finished his mission.


25th was a furniture shopping day with mum followed by last min Twilight day. I enjoyed the day thoroughly. Movie was good. Company was good. Edward Cullen is scary in a attractive way. The pale skin coupled with the thick eyebrows and the golden eyes. Nice.

I thought the ending of the show was good. The dancing part. Ask me for the song. I will send it to you.



After movie, it was You Tiao at Selegie. Everytime I go there, it rains. Everytime I go there, I have different feeling. Then, decided to walk to cityhall to catch the train home. I like it when the surrounding is quiet. Very calm. Very nice setting to talk and relax. The pace is slow but not too draggy.

This was how I spent my 25th Dec 2008. Strange but not too bad. Alot of things took place in a flash. I was glad that it happened thou. Although, I wish some of the moments could remain still and stay there forever. I wish I could undo some moments. Like rewind, change it and then play it again. But I cant. I will leave that for another post another day perhaps. =)


Two consolation for the Christmas season.



1. Twilight.

2. My Oakleys finally arrived.

Late night rantings

Better blog about the trip now otherwise I would drag and drag and drag.

Basically, the ROC trip was fantastic. Abit emo once in a while. But still. A very fulfiling trip. In every aspect.

We visited Perlis, Ipoh as well as KL which was a last min decision. Crossed the borders into Thailand as well during our free day in Perlis. Visited HATYAI and got myself a CHANG BEER singlet at $6. Ate alot of random stuff too. Tried this nice grilled banana. nice stuff I tell you.

Food

Food is cheap in perlis. Like super cheap. Ipoh was ok. The usual bean sprout chicken. And my favourite pastry shop! Dim sum in Ipoh was cheap as well. KL was the killer. Expensive food but still I was willing to spend cos it is relatively cheaper than singapore. I had...

1. Baskin Robbins ice cream

2. Fish and Co

3. Secret Recipe

4. Cheap fried noodles at 1RM

5. Nice peanut Mochi

6. Nice fried noodles at the Bintang area

7. tonnes of nasi ayam

It is rather surprising that it is quite hard to find HALAL food in Malaysia. Hmmm....

CLIMBING

I wouldn't say I climb alot. But I think this was the first trip that I climbed really hard. Perlis is shiok. I love climbing at Perlis cos that was where I really projected a route. Not really hard route. But my personal best? Ipoh was spent mainly on LA Sculpture. 7C+. 8metres worth of bouldering/ lead problem. As much as I wish to send it, I couldn't. Got passed the crux, but kept dropping at the easier section. WTH. Hmm... oh well. Think my temper and emotion got the better of me during some climbs. Bad habit man. Hmm.. Generally climbing for this trip had been UBER fulfiling. =)

Everything else....

hmm.... so much said. The mood for this trip is just different. The first part of the trip was mostly spent with the Lao REn gang. Thanks Jups, Ruix, San, Claud and Teck for the late night talk man. Jups can really give good advise la. hAHaha.

The Lao Ren Gang left and I was slightly lost for awhile. Then slowly moved into the younger gang. haHaha. Wasn't so bad. Get to know everyone better. yUp. And had nice chats in the middle of the late night. =) wHeee.... not forgetting Christmas Xchange! so exciting. hAHaha. Pondok lodge never fails to provide me with the homely feeling man. Hmm...........

It is really hard to write everything down. Cos there is really just too much to pen down. So much to say but cant. Someday perhaps....

Will spam the photos one I get them from daryl.

Great trip. Great food. Great climbs. Great company. Great u.

It is a rainy Christmas.

thanks

Bee stings and Ropeburns.

I am back!!!!

Give me some time to gather my thoughts for this trip.

Alot of exciting photos coming up.

Alot of things to say.

Alot of things I want to say.

Great trip. Great feeling.

Stay tuned

42.195 (II)

Just some after thoughts.....

1. Power gel is really powerful stuff. Like TOTALLY (though it tastes abit crappy)




2. Not trying to be arrogant and not that I have super good timing. Neither am I a pro runner nor am I super fit but the marathon was not as tough as I imagined and feared it would be. (As in I have heard alot from my friends regarding how tough it was. Maybe it was because I feel that I had more traumatising experience as compared to this, for example JCC in Brunei. And also maybe beacuse I had Yixiang there to push each other on. It was mentally challenging)




3. 28km is the longest distance I have ever run continously in my entire life. Amazing stuff.




4. Do not underestimate the human spirit. ( you can really feel the human will during the race. The will to finish the race leads to individuals pushing their limits. Seriously, I respect those uncles and those who belong to the bigger size category. It was hard for me, and I bet it was WAAAAAAY tougher for them.)




5. Having someone to run with you is indeed a powerful factor. First you won't get bored. Second you can push each other along. Third you build stronger friendship.




6. I think couples running a marathon and finishing the 42km together is TOTALLY sweet stuff. one day........

Glad that I joined this race. At least it made my December holiday more eventful. And this is something that I am proud of. Pushing my own limit and finishing the 42km. Ah......... you just got to run it to know how come I am writing so much on it. seriously. In fact, I have alot more to write. But it is just hard to pen it down.

Here's a couple of photos.

Super excited at the 100m Mark!!!!

After the race. Stretching.

Doris- The runspirator!!! Thanks for being there man.

At the end of the day.

42.195 (I)

Managed to find a time to update. Alot have happened. My closer friends would know. Thanks for all the concerns and well wishes.

This has got to be the most eventful December holidays for me. At least till now.

All because of Standard Chartered Marathon 2008. Running your own race.

Only knew I was taking part during the exams when Matthew asked if I wanted to replace him. Attracted by the cheap price, I agreed.

Didn't have much time to train up cos was in the midst of exams. After exams, I am left with one week. No much endurance training could be done at that stage. Also, had alot of concerns over my left knee. Alot of dilemma. Wanted to pull out from the race. But then I told myself... "what the hell, run first, consider later". (probably thats why I get injured all the time. cos I don't seem to know my limits)

I clocked a total of 3runs prior to the race. Two 8km runs and one 2.4Km for IPPT.

and so...............................

7th December 2008-----RACE DAY

Woke up at around 0330hr. Recieved Doris's good luck message. Thank you my friend. Seriously, for all the reminders to take care of my knee, for being supportive and also for being there at the race to capture a great photo for me and my climbing/running buddy.

Did my last bit of carbo loading which consisted of one peanut butter bread, one banana, one fruit bar and one can of red bull.

Then it was off to Esplanade.

The first 21km was fine. Not much of a problem. Thats when Yixiang and I decided to push to 28km. I had problems at around 24-25km mark. Knee gave me abit of problem. But Yixiang pushed me on.

Soon we hit 28km where both of us really cannot make it alr. hAHaha. And came the deep heat rub and all the stretching. Walked to 31km. This was the part that pulled our timing down totally. Then afterwhich we run alternate KM. and eventually we reached back with a fair time of 5hrs 52mins. Would say it is acceptable for me as I was my first time running. I believe that we could have done much better with more training. The fact that we could still sprint from esplanade to the fnishing line indicated that we did not push to our limits. But oh well, fair timing nonetheless.

It is always like this. You set a goal. You reached the goal. And then you say it could have been better. Do you have the same problem as me?

Finito

It's hard to imagine myself graduating next semester if I don't pursue HONs. Hmm. Year3 Sem1 is over. Slack but not too slack.

Went for a haircut straight after Pharmacology. Not too bad! Thanks Zhaoxiu for your recommendation on POINTERS.

Then it was off to movie with the Life Science gang. Madagascar 2 was great. Had a super good laugh after afternoon's stressful paper. $6 plus free popcorn! The power of NOW card.

After the movie, the girls randomly decided to go Timbre. Again. haHaa. But it was good. Cos the place wasn't crowded and it was relatively quiet. The acoustic singers were good!

Somehow all the emo songs came out on that night.

Ippt in 4hours time.

First and Last

You know what I think?

I THINK





The FIRST and the LAST are always the hardest.


seriously.

it's you

you

Amazing Awake at 4am

The power of Red bull man. Totally.

I am like wide awake.

At around 23oam, I was like getting distracted. So i picked up my phone. 6911987.

987fm. PillowFight with Soo.

Amazingly, I got through. And we did random talking. hAHha. And I chose a nice song for the quiet night. I will follow you into the dark.

Alot of things to do after exams. Let me list them down.

• Change USD to pass to sis
• Collect stuff from US from sister's friend
• Be nice and send some stuff to her friend
• IPPT on wednesday and possibly mambo at night with YX and gang?
• Possible Timbre with Emo gang on saturday
• MARATHON on sunday.
• and many many more.... oh ya.......... Malaysia trip and all the present hunting.

AND NOT FORGETTING GET A LONG OVERDUE HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me. Myself and I. Through this

Went to see the Ortho Specialist in school today.

The doctor says that he don't see anything seriously wrong with my knee.

No major tenderness.

No swelling.

No nothing.

He suspects that it is a loose patella (knee cap) that is causing all these locking. Hmm. Somehow I think that there is more than that.

Directed me to the physio. Did all the deep tissue massage and ultrasound. Then taped up my knee. Said the usual stuff that a physio would say.

Next review is end of Jan. Two months from now. If it persists, I will be directed to a MRI scan. Crap.

Hmm. Just went for a run. Tried the park connectors.. Quite shiok. Alot of things to see. Different running routes are always the best. Something to look forward to as you run.

And the best part is... You don't know where you are heading exactly. So I decide as I run. haha. The tape held on quite well too...

4more days planet. Hang in there man.